2010-04-28
2010-04-26
2010-04-22
THE SHARING OF MARRIAGE.YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS ONE
The sharing of marriage....
The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his ! wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man sa! id, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little o ld lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered
(Continue below.....)
` THE TEETH.'
Oh! my! ... hope my burst of laughter echoes to you.
At a Senior Citizen's
luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation
and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were
widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman
picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat
and started out on their adventure.
They were riding down the river when there
was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady,
'Do you want to go up or down?'
All of a sudden the lady stripped off
her shirt
and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right
there in the boat !
When they finished, the man couldn't believe
what had just
happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in
years.
They fished for a while
and
continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in
the river.
He again asked the lady
, 'Up or down ?'
There she went again,
stripped off her clothes,
and made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly
gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.
She said yes and there they were the
next day,
riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river,
and the elderly gentleman asked, 'Up or down ?'
The woman replied, 'Down.'
A little puzzled and disappointed,
the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon another
fork in the river and he asked the lady,'Up or down ?'
She replied, 'Up.'
This really confused the gentleman so
he asked,
'What's the deal?
Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you
made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!'
She replied, 'Well, yesterday I wasn't
wearing
my hearing aid and I thought the choices were
fuck or
drown'
Russian doctor conducts self-surgery
In 1959
Leonid Rogozov graduated from the Institute and was immediately accepted
to the surgery clinical residency. However, his studies at the
residency were broken off for some time due to Leonid�s trip to
Antarctica in September, 1960 as a doctor of the 6th Soviet Antarctic
expedition to Novolazarevskaya station.
During this expedition there happened an event that made a 27-year
old surgeon world-famous.
In the 4th month of the
wintering, in April, 29th, 1961, Leonid showed disturbing symptoms:
weakness, nausea, fever and pain in a right iliac region. The following
day his temperature got even higher. Being the only doctor in the
expedition consisting of 13 people, Leonid diagnosed himself: acute
appendicitis. There were no planes at any of the nearest stations,
besides, adverse weather conditions would not allow to fly to
Novolazarevskaya anyway. In order to save the sick member of a polar
expedition there was needed an urgent operation on site. And the only
way out was to operate on himself.
What happened next? Did he operate himself successfully?
“When you stay alone at the Polar Arctic
station and you have a trouble with your health you can visit the
doctor, but what if you are the doctor yourself and it takes place 1960
with no sat calls?
At night, on the 30th of
April, 1961, the surgeon was being helped by a mechanical
engineer and a meteorologist who were giving him the medical instruments
and holding a small mirror at his belly. Lying half bent on the left
side, the doctor made a local anesthesia with novocaine solution and
made a 12cm incision in the right iliac region with a scalpel. Either
watching in the mirror or by touch he removed an inflamed appendix and
injected antibiotic in the abdominal cavity. In 30 or 40 minutes from
the beginning of the operation there developed a faint and
giddiness and the surgeon had to make pauses for some rest.
Nevertheless, by midnight the operation lasting 1 hour and 45 minutes
was over. In five days the temperature normalized, in two days more –
the stitches were taken out.
In the St. Petersburg Museum of the
Arctic and the Antarctic there is an exposure of surgical instruments
that Leonid Rogozov applied for this uneasy operation.
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