Wife is like a TV,
Girlfriend is like a MOBILE .
At home u watch TV,
But when u go out u take ur MOBILE.
No money, u sell the TV,
Got money u change ur MOBILE.
Sometimes u enjoy TV,
But most of the time u play with ur MOBILE.
TV is free for life,
But for the MOBILE , if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old,
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable.
Operational costs for TV is often acceptable,
But for the MOBILE it is often high and demanding.
TV has a remote,
Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen),
But with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not).
Last but not least ..
TVs don't have viruses,
But MOBILEs often do!
Labels: Wife and Girlfriend
Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
Remember Craig Tracy, the body art artist? This time he paints a tiger on the bodies of three female models at the request of British charity Save China's Tigers. First he prepares a background for the work and then the models are painted in stages.
Wrap and packaging do make a big difference but on the other hand, it is what is in the parcel that really counts !!!
This photo below was taken at a competition in June 2008. The competition was between 9 women for best makeover.
They had every possible beauty treatment available to them over a period of 12 hours before the contest.
Look at the before and after photos. Conclusion - there are no ugly women only poor women.
The woman 2nd from the left won the contest.
A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife's nipples while she was asleep. The next day, their driver died of poisoning.
A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked Dad why? He answered so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum.
A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband. Maid said sir you are my witness you know I never wear panties.
Labels: Pre-emptive strike.
A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Mumbai. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings.
"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?"
"Most of them become taxi drivers," she said.
Labels: Taxi Driver
A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Mullah for counseling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
Ahmed asks, 'We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together.'
'Absolutely not,' says the Mullah. 'It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately.'
'So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?'
Labels: SAUDI COUNSELLING
" The Life "
Once A Man Saw in His Dream,
That A Lion Was Chasing Him.
The Man Ran To A Tree,
Climbed On To it And Sat On A Branch.
He Looked Down And Saw That The Lion Was Still There Waiting For Him.
The Man Then Looked To His Side
Where The Branch He Was Sitting On
Was Attached To The Tree
And Saw That Two Rats Were Circling Around
And Eating The Branch.
Labels: The Life
STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
I would have given him 100%
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
Labels: 0% on an exam?????